Modak Conquest - A humble tribute

As a Mumbaikar for most part of my life, I have seen several pompous celebrations of Ganesh Chaturthi. Many people choose to keep idols in their homes/colonies and drown them later in the sea, some travel far to visit temples without footwear and a few others break coconuts loudly near other people's feet :-) As a silicon valley engineer far from home, I thought that any tribute to the elephant god, should be both refined as well as humble ...

In Hindu mythology, lord Ganesha is called by several names. Two such names are Modakapriya (lover of sweet rice dumplings) and Sarvasiddhanta (Bestower of Skills). Putting these two together, I felt I had found the best way to offer my tribute - to hopefully learn the coveted skill of preparing kozhakattais or modaks and feed my roomies, after presenting one before the god's idol of course (the former are generally hungry and hunger knows no taste, the latter is known for tolerant silence). But, this is not an easy matter for a guy at all! The art and skill of preparing these rice dumplings is known to reside only deep within the bastions of the culinary secrets of select Indian women. Few men are even known to dare attempt this undertaking, let alone achieve success at them.

My first attempt lasted about an hour and a half (inclusive of cleaning vessels and preparations). The results lay here in pictorial form...

I will spare the gory details of the effort but jot down a few quick random lessons to self...

Lesson 1 - Do not be ashamed to ask: Sometimes this first step that seems so easy might be really hard. As long as you have your reasons, there ought to be nothing to be ashamed of in asking women for help. Many many thanks to my ever helpful Maharashtrian friend at Rayleigh for giving me guidance and sound advice regarding this matter.

Lesson 2 - Even old dogs can learn new tricks: The human brain is known to be an adaptive organ. It may have its imperfections that may seem to manifest more stubbornly with age, but with sustained interest, it can be taught just about anything. No worries if the few modaks don't come out well, chances are the next one will look better than the current unrecognizable blob.

Lesson 3 - Watch out for surface ruptures: Modaks contain a sweet stuffing in the core, which may boil in the cooker. If the covering isn't prepared adequately, the latent steam may choose to find the weakest point in the surface and tear apart the covering. The resultant mass may still possess taste, but may make the hands oily before touching the camera ;-)

Lesson 4 - Take pictures even at intermediate stages: This allows for shameless boasting even if the end product were to be a disaster.

Results...
My first attempt had 8 modaks (since 8 bits make up a byte)
1 resides before god as I type this... 7 have been consumed with content smiles!

Ganpathi Bappa Morya

The Swapped Towel

Few days back, at the gym in my work-place,
I went to take a shower after a workout phase
I had hung my towel outside, on a hook,
but later when I came out to look,
I realized a guy from the next shower room,
had gone with my towel leaving his to loom!!

Only two grim choices I could see on inspection -
Either drape his towel around my mid-section,
risking the possibility of some weird infection
Or nude-walk to the towel rack, risking detection!

I made up my mind and chose the latter,
but this was hardly an easy matter,
as the towel rack was nearly a hundred feet away!
So like a secret spy on a trail of a prey,
I tip-toed to the nearest corner after much delay,
waited to ensure the coast was clear my way,
took a deep breath hoping my fears would allay,
And made a Big Bold Dash with Everything on display!

Time seemed to slow down and the towel rack afar
my birthday dress was dripping wet, it was bizarre!

But finally after what seemed like eternity,
I had made it, no sneak peaks to the fraternity
The soft towel covered critical real estate
phew, I was relieved ... never felt so great!

But just as I thought none had seen me zoom,
a gentle voice went, "It's ok man, you're in the Men's room"
!

Lessons from Surfing

Everybody has a at least a little craving for "new experiences". I am not really an always-hungry-for-adrenaline type at all, but when my cool ex-roomie asked me if I'd like to join him surfing today, I just couldn't say no. After my first nearly three hours in a wetsuit with the surfboard and waves, I suspected I have reflected enough upon life itself that I'd be writing this blog. My top 10 lessons in decreasing order of relevance are...

Lesson #10: To begin surfing (in bay area at least), you need both a wet suit as well as a surfboard else the water may be too cold. In life too, if the surfboard is like food, clothing and shelter(basics for survival), the wet-suit may be like a stable job and decent income - without which life may be too harsh for fun. Family and close friends are like that rope from the surf board that is tied to your right leg (reason may get clearer later).

Lesson #9: Surfing isn't just about riding the wave, although that is the part people see and notice easily. There is lot more to it... for starters you need to paddle against the current and waves for at least sometime to be able to catch a good wave to ride on. If riding the wave is like success in life, the paddling against the current and smaller waves would be like the effort needed to get to it. The paddling or the overcoming of smaller waves, are harder to notice but extremely important and often the reason for the result.

Lesson #8: Identifying and catching a good wave is an important part.. It need not be the perfect wave, for there may be no such thing, but a good wave that you can at ride on till you get as close to the shore as possible. In life, this is like waiting for a partner or a business opportunity or a good time to do something big. There may never be a perfect choice, just good and bad ones. It does not matter if you have picked the perfect one, it's just nice if you can pick a good one.

Lesson #7: Bigger waves start deeper. To get to them you need to paddle harder against smaller waves. Sometimes while doing this, you might fall off your surfboard. That's ok. Just need to get back on it when the big wave seems to be coming. In life, it's ok if you have setbacks while in your efforts, what matters is you still catch a wave.

Lesson #6: Once you have caught a wave, the job isn't done, it actually gets interesting. Surfing the wave without toppling over is just as important. You need to balance! Some manage to stand up straight and do noticeable things, others just manage to get half up without falling. In life this is like marriage or commitment to a post or business. In your pursuit to do stunts make sure you are still on the surfboard. If you don't balance well, you might fall badly. That's probably why your leg should be tethered to the surfboard just in case (decipher yourself).

[Ok were those too deep? Better not attach double meaning to these notes to self..]

Lesson #5: Don't surf on an empty stomach.

Lesson #4: While carrying the surfboard to the water, either look at the ground for sharp stones or wear surfing footwear. Better to not get distracted at this stage.

Lesson #3: After battling the waves, if you are terribly exhausted, please look before falling like a dead log on wet sand... you could be squishing a dead jellyfish or yucky sea weed!

Lesson #2: If you are not wearing spectacles do not try to squint at not-too-far-away but possibly good-to-view beach members, no matter how interesting their er... "attire" might be.

Lesson #1: While lying on the sand out of of exhaustion, do not talk to who you think is listening, esp if you eyes are closed. Dogs do not respond well to foreign languages.

A "Rocking" Long Weekend

Even if it did not involve the near death experience and flying roomie, this 4th July long weekend would have been a thing to blog about. When three busy-at-work-but-otherwise-super-lazy bums can almost fully plan a long weekend road trip, you really got to hand it to Americans and their infrastructure. Click here, click there and Lo!, its time to go! I can't help but reminiscence those days, my dad used to hire travel agents to stand in long lines to buy RAC railway tickets so our family could go places. Our plan to visit crater lake and mt shasta on the way was made with less than an hour's effort.

[Day 1 - Shasta Caverns at Mt Shasta]

"The Desi Reassurance factor" - If you are visiting a famous place around say California and not sure if your GPS has brought you to the correct place, just look around - if you can spot a few desis, well, rest assured, you have probably come to the right spot ;-) No kidding! The first day, we weren't completely sure if we came to the correct place where the mt shasta caverns tour was supposed to begin, but we were quickly reassured by the sight of a number of desi faces.
Now, people say an average guy's dream is to have, an European house, a Japanese car, an American salary and an Indian wife. I don't know about the first three, but it appears several silicon valley gentlemen choose to go great lengths for the last. I dare not attempt to guess why, but along with us on the tour were several couples, clearly discernible as newly weds. Our tour began with a boat cruise to the actual caves, where a tour guide explained the science and history behind those beautiful stalactites and stalagmites formations. Now every time the guide would pop a question to the tourists, something like "Can anyone tell me what translucence means?", there was this one young gorgeous newly wed desi female who would put up her hand like an eager school girl and reply with an accent so thick one can almost pin point the lattitude and longitude of her geographical origins, "thee yeability to paess laite tHroo"

[Day 2 - Crater Lake]

Crater lake offered us several scenic views of the pristine lake along its 33 mile rim drive. I think there is only one place where you can hike down to the water, and again we located that place by spotting numerous persons from, yup, the Indian subcontinent :-)

[Day 3 - Lava beds National Monument and power boating on Lake Shasta]

Our concluding day was clearly the most eventful. After a quick visit to the lava beds national monument where we explored underground volcanic caves on our own with torch lights, we headed back to lake shasta for some action. After all, we are all young unmarried youthful men right? Enough of these caves and tours man, gemme some real action, some real adventure, yeah! Ah, well, that was pretty much our attitude when the four of us rented a high performance speed boat to ourselves. None of us had operated speed boats before and I was the only one who knew swimming. But the way we ravished with it, taking sharp 360 degree turns at 50 miles an hour, we would have easily passed off as regular daredevils straight from a mountain dew ad. There is something about that adrenaline rush you get as the wind rips through your hair at 50 miles an hour over an open blue lake surface. Our speed boat explored nearly every part of lake shasta. Being the only swimmer, I even sort of attempted jet skiing. All was fun, until it happened...

At first it felt just as if we were attempting another one of those fierce 360 sharp turns, but on my first glimpse of my roomie literally flying through the air and tumbling across the boat surface, I could tell all was not right! The boat had hit that dreaded thing that has sunk many vessels - a rocky landmass in the middle of the lake. The fierceness of the crash, had knocked the speedometer out, screwed up the propellors and damaged the steering rims, but fortunately the boat had not toppled over like the last scene in Face Off movie. As if hitting a rock wasnt scary enough, few bikini babes from nearby boats began to yell out, "You are going to sink, if there is water in your boat". By the grace of some divine overseer, the boat did not choose to sink, and allowed us to make it back to the docks in, one badly shaped albeit single piece.

We were charged heavily for the damages caused, but no one cared. We were just thankful to be breathing..... to be alive!

Horn OK Please

On the many Indian roads I had just been,
few new lessons I learnt from what was seen
Motorists seem to have a road goddess to appease,
and too often use the mantra, "Horn OK Please"

Driving style's bit different from the likes elsewhere,
for moving objects may intercept you from anywhere
Not just cycles, rickshaws, lorries or bikes
but dogs, pedestrians, even buffaloes yikes
Angry cow on your path? Well don't freeze,
just remember to "Horn OK Please"

Waiting for intersections to clear may take forever
we just pray and move forth with a brave endeavor
Motorists love you, so may come very very close,
Don't worry, smile at them and say cheese,
but don't forget to "Horn OK Please"

A lone light may not be a bike on the highway,
but a truck with just one headlight & a sway
It's risky to investigate so put your fears at ease,
better be safe, chant with "Horn OK Please"

Red lights in some places mean nothing, folks,
lane lines are mostly decorations, practical jokes
Looking over the shoulder? don't bother mate,
there are always vehicles there, sometimes 7 or 8
you'd rather want to scan ahead in an alert state

Driving Indian roads may take some expertise,
but it seems to begin with the mantra, "Horn OK Please"

***

Based on what I recently saw, I feel Indian driving expertise come in 4 levels.
1. Newbie: Waiting and yielding, shy of using the horn, driving within lanes, fearing the cop etc
2. Beginner: Just starting to get brave, moderate to regular honking, foot ready on brake etc
3. Intermediate: More brave, not yielding, heavy honking (even in heavy long traffic) and most importantly gentle swearing at other motorists
4. Advanced: This stage requires certain prerequisites in addition to that of the Intermediate level, such as knowledge of swear words in native tongue of that locality and physical strength (since many road accidents seem to get resolved by hand to face combat)

The Charm of the Mirror

Someone once told me that if you begin your day by first looking at yourself in the mirror then your day will go well. For some reason, I decided to give it a try. This other morning, after my alarm rang, I groped my way to the bathroom and opened my eyes in front of the mirror. Instantly there was dazzling light everywhere, as my eyes got adjusted to sunlight, but after it did, I couldn't help wonder for an instant, "will this really be a lucky day?"

I carpool to work everyday, and so after dressing up, I put on the helmet and rode my bike over to my carpool partner's place. Along my way all signals seemed to turn green as I neared them and traffic too seemed totally minimal. The weather was pleasant and a few passersby actually smiled at me... Nah.. all this is just coincidence, I thought, the mirror's lucky charm can't really work this real, can it? I put the bike at my carpool partner's place and then we drove in her car to work.

All throughout the day, was it my imagination or was it real, I could not tell, but for some reason, I found people noticing me much more than usual. It felt like they were holding on to their gaze a bit longer and smiling a little more! Right from the security personnel, to some workplace acquaintances, to some of my own team-members, everyone seemed happier to see me! In fact at lunch time, as I walked my way to the cafeteria, I found people, even ones I didn't know, smiling at me. More so, as a flock of ladies passed by me, one of them kept staring at me until she actually broke into an unmistakable smile, which I managed to shyly return. Wow, I told myself. My last straw came when this cute lady on my floor actually smiled at me as we met at the kitchen (she typically never smiles at anyone!). Bless you Mirror Magic Charm, I thought. But wait, I had to be sure...

So I walked over to my friend's desk and told him about how people (esp of opposite gender) were noticing me more than usual. He too gazed at me for a moment, but then turning to his computer, he said in a rather matter-of-fact tone, "Yeah, that's probably because you are looking very horny today". Without thinking I snapped back, "Are you sure no one slipped vodka in your coffee this morning?". Not turning back, he lazily replied, "Go look at the mirror if you don't believe me."

One look at the mirror and I almost burst out laughing myself... Jutting out of my scalp, result of wearing my bike helmet incorrectly, were these two naughty standing bundles of hair, making me look like I had horns on my head!!

The Unforgetable Look

Just last Saturday that went by,
we went on a drive, roomies and I
Deep down south on page mill road,
a forest so scenic, like god's abode
Dense dark clouds above the head,
we just drove, where the roads lead
A gentle drizzle blessed our way
A fresh breeze made it a spray

I lowered the window,
put out my face
as the car picked up some pace
Opened my mouth, lowered my tongue,
to taste these drops so very young
The wind and water felt so great
I was in one, really happy state!

Then our car stopped at a red light,
beside us was another car, in close sight
Staring at me was a poodle so white
Our eyes met - the moment felt like eternity,
it gave me this look - all smart and witty
I pulled in my tongue, but it was too late,
it had already made its statement, mate,

"Behave yourself, will ya?"