A "Rocking" Long Weekend

Even if it did not involve the near death experience and flying roomie, this 4th July long weekend would have been a thing to blog about. When three busy-at-work-but-otherwise-super-lazy bums can almost fully plan a long weekend road trip, you really got to hand it to Americans and their infrastructure. Click here, click there and Lo!, its time to go! I can't help but reminiscence those days, my dad used to hire travel agents to stand in long lines to buy RAC railway tickets so our family could go places. Our plan to visit crater lake and mt shasta on the way was made with less than an hour's effort.

[Day 1 - Shasta Caverns at Mt Shasta]

"The Desi Reassurance factor" - If you are visiting a famous place around say California and not sure if your GPS has brought you to the correct place, just look around - if you can spot a few desis, well, rest assured, you have probably come to the right spot ;-) No kidding! The first day, we weren't completely sure if we came to the correct place where the mt shasta caverns tour was supposed to begin, but we were quickly reassured by the sight of a number of desi faces.
Now, people say an average guy's dream is to have, an European house, a Japanese car, an American salary and an Indian wife. I don't know about the first three, but it appears several silicon valley gentlemen choose to go great lengths for the last. I dare not attempt to guess why, but along with us on the tour were several couples, clearly discernible as newly weds. Our tour began with a boat cruise to the actual caves, where a tour guide explained the science and history behind those beautiful stalactites and stalagmites formations. Now every time the guide would pop a question to the tourists, something like "Can anyone tell me what translucence means?", there was this one young gorgeous newly wed desi female who would put up her hand like an eager school girl and reply with an accent so thick one can almost pin point the lattitude and longitude of her geographical origins, "thee yeability to paess laite tHroo"

[Day 2 - Crater Lake]

Crater lake offered us several scenic views of the pristine lake along its 33 mile rim drive. I think there is only one place where you can hike down to the water, and again we located that place by spotting numerous persons from, yup, the Indian subcontinent :-)

[Day 3 - Lava beds National Monument and power boating on Lake Shasta]

Our concluding day was clearly the most eventful. After a quick visit to the lava beds national monument where we explored underground volcanic caves on our own with torch lights, we headed back to lake shasta for some action. After all, we are all young unmarried youthful men right? Enough of these caves and tours man, gemme some real action, some real adventure, yeah! Ah, well, that was pretty much our attitude when the four of us rented a high performance speed boat to ourselves. None of us had operated speed boats before and I was the only one who knew swimming. But the way we ravished with it, taking sharp 360 degree turns at 50 miles an hour, we would have easily passed off as regular daredevils straight from a mountain dew ad. There is something about that adrenaline rush you get as the wind rips through your hair at 50 miles an hour over an open blue lake surface. Our speed boat explored nearly every part of lake shasta. Being the only swimmer, I even sort of attempted jet skiing. All was fun, until it happened...

At first it felt just as if we were attempting another one of those fierce 360 sharp turns, but on my first glimpse of my roomie literally flying through the air and tumbling across the boat surface, I could tell all was not right! The boat had hit that dreaded thing that has sunk many vessels - a rocky landmass in the middle of the lake. The fierceness of the crash, had knocked the speedometer out, screwed up the propellors and damaged the steering rims, but fortunately the boat had not toppled over like the last scene in Face Off movie. As if hitting a rock wasnt scary enough, few bikini babes from nearby boats began to yell out, "You are going to sink, if there is water in your boat". By the grace of some divine overseer, the boat did not choose to sink, and allowed us to make it back to the docks in, one badly shaped albeit single piece.

We were charged heavily for the damages caused, but no one cared. We were just thankful to be breathing..... to be alive!

Horn OK Please

On the many Indian roads I had just been,
few new lessons I learnt from what was seen
Motorists seem to have a road goddess to appease,
and too often use the mantra, "Horn OK Please"

Driving style's bit different from the likes elsewhere,
for moving objects may intercept you from anywhere
Not just cycles, rickshaws, lorries or bikes
but dogs, pedestrians, even buffaloes yikes
Angry cow on your path? Well don't freeze,
just remember to "Horn OK Please"

Waiting for intersections to clear may take forever
we just pray and move forth with a brave endeavor
Motorists love you, so may come very very close,
Don't worry, smile at them and say cheese,
but don't forget to "Horn OK Please"

A lone light may not be a bike on the highway,
but a truck with just one headlight & a sway
It's risky to investigate so put your fears at ease,
better be safe, chant with "Horn OK Please"

Red lights in some places mean nothing, folks,
lane lines are mostly decorations, practical jokes
Looking over the shoulder? don't bother mate,
there are always vehicles there, sometimes 7 or 8
you'd rather want to scan ahead in an alert state

Driving Indian roads may take some expertise,
but it seems to begin with the mantra, "Horn OK Please"

***

Based on what I recently saw, I feel Indian driving expertise come in 4 levels.
1. Newbie: Waiting and yielding, shy of using the horn, driving within lanes, fearing the cop etc
2. Beginner: Just starting to get brave, moderate to regular honking, foot ready on brake etc
3. Intermediate: More brave, not yielding, heavy honking (even in heavy long traffic) and most importantly gentle swearing at other motorists
4. Advanced: This stage requires certain prerequisites in addition to that of the Intermediate level, such as knowledge of swear words in native tongue of that locality and physical strength (since many road accidents seem to get resolved by hand to face combat)

The Charm of the Mirror

Someone once told me that if you begin your day by first looking at yourself in the mirror then your day will go well. For some reason, I decided to give it a try. This other morning, after my alarm rang, I groped my way to the bathroom and opened my eyes in front of the mirror. Instantly there was dazzling light everywhere, as my eyes got adjusted to sunlight, but after it did, I couldn't help wonder for an instant, "will this really be a lucky day?"

I carpool to work everyday, and so after dressing up, I put on the helmet and rode my bike over to my carpool partner's place. Along my way all signals seemed to turn green as I neared them and traffic too seemed totally minimal. The weather was pleasant and a few passersby actually smiled at me... Nah.. all this is just coincidence, I thought, the mirror's lucky charm can't really work this real, can it? I put the bike at my carpool partner's place and then we drove in her car to work.

All throughout the day, was it my imagination or was it real, I could not tell, but for some reason, I found people noticing me much more than usual. It felt like they were holding on to their gaze a bit longer and smiling a little more! Right from the security personnel, to some workplace acquaintances, to some of my own team-members, everyone seemed happier to see me! In fact at lunch time, as I walked my way to the cafeteria, I found people, even ones I didn't know, smiling at me. More so, as a flock of ladies passed by me, one of them kept staring at me until she actually broke into an unmistakable smile, which I managed to shyly return. Wow, I told myself. My last straw came when this cute lady on my floor actually smiled at me as we met at the kitchen (she typically never smiles at anyone!). Bless you Mirror Magic Charm, I thought. But wait, I had to be sure...

So I walked over to my friend's desk and told him about how people (esp of opposite gender) were noticing me more than usual. He too gazed at me for a moment, but then turning to his computer, he said in a rather matter-of-fact tone, "Yeah, that's probably because you are looking very horny today". Without thinking I snapped back, "Are you sure no one slipped vodka in your coffee this morning?". Not turning back, he lazily replied, "Go look at the mirror if you don't believe me."

One look at the mirror and I almost burst out laughing myself... Jutting out of my scalp, result of wearing my bike helmet incorrectly, were these two naughty standing bundles of hair, making me look like I had horns on my head!!

The Unforgetable Look

Just last Saturday that went by,
we went on a drive, roomies and I
Deep down south on page mill road,
a forest so scenic, like god's abode
Dense dark clouds above the head,
we just drove, where the roads lead
A gentle drizzle blessed our way
A fresh breeze made it a spray

I lowered the window,
put out my face
as the car picked up some pace
Opened my mouth, lowered my tongue,
to taste these drops so very young
The wind and water felt so great
I was in one, really happy state!

Then our car stopped at a red light,
beside us was another car, in close sight
Staring at me was a poodle so white
Our eyes met - the moment felt like eternity,
it gave me this look - all smart and witty
I pulled in my tongue, but it was too late,
it had already made its statement, mate,

"Behave yourself, will ya?"

A Tamil Day - Part II (Comedy Drama)

Continuing on the tribute to our tamil roots, I and my friends headed toward the Sunnyvale temple from UCB visit where the Bharati Tamil Sangam was having its Tamil New Year Celebrations. We were there to check out a tamil comedy drama by CMU students working in the bay area, most of whom graduated in the same batch as me. We reached well over an hour early for the play but were glad that we did! Entertaining us were a number of really talented performances by young and old alike. I particularly enjoyed the Pattimandram or a debate. These debates are one of those things that make you happy that you understand the language :P The topics they select are typically controversial (this one was, "Who are more responsible for marital bliss - men or women?") and so brings out some cool debating action and some really funny retorts.

Our final takeaway for the day was of course the tamil drama. Titled, "worstu begaviouru" it was about this indian dude and his 'hot nondesi gal' who he is dating. Things start to get interesting as his very cultural parents come over to US from India for his birthday surprise. Now, perhaps it was just something leftover from the morinig ucb visit where I er.. discovered some facts about my ancestral history or it was because these were all CMU alum, I once again found this sense of pride welling within me as I watched their hilarious performance. Fortunate to have been carrying my cam with me, I managed to shoot the whole drama and put it up on youtube. If you understand tamil and have some time, I would certainly recommend checking it out. It may start off with some random mokkaification, but gets you giggling soon enough.

Kudos to you ppl! Keep it up.

A Tamil Day - Part I (UCB visit)

With the dual intent of visiting the famous campus and also attending the annual ucb tamil conference held there, I left with my friends early in the morning. UCB campus is really worth visiting if you live in the bay area. Apart from the panoramic Sather tower views or the beautifully architected buildings and museums, every street corner or park may help you understand why US is such a big consumer of sunscreen lotions ;)

After shamelessly helping ourselves to free lunch, we made our way to the room where the annual berkeley tamil conference was held. If the feeling of being back at campus, attending lectures was anything great, it was only to be surpassed by an even more pleasant surprise - many panelists in that room were of non-Indian origin and were telling us about some of the most intricate details of the tamil era of kings from 14th -17th century. I felt a strange sense of pride welling up within me as the professor recreated the history of pandiya kings and their valor in battles. For all I knew perhaps these were my very ancestors, my own blood! As the prof spoke, I felt myself instantly being transported to those ancient lands of glory...

As the mighty prince Jatavarman Sundara, I feel the hot afternoon breeze in my hair as I stand watching over my splendid kingdom with ministers and princess. My fair lady huddles close to me worried, "O noble prince, look, the evil Kongu king and his armies are marching here. Will you go to battle?" Taking a deep breath, I return a reassuring smile to her, "That will not be necessary, O fair princess. I am the powerful warrior of the lunar race and I shall unleash the mighty strength of the sun god on these insolent fools"... My wise ministers eye me skeptically, but they dare not question my power! I step forward and eyeball the situation - it is true, the Kongu king army is mighty and is marching fast at the horizon, but he will be defenseless against the power of the sun god. Reaching inside my robes, I take out my canister of deodorant and spray liberally into the air, chanting some deep incantations. As the pressurized canister empties itself, its vicious CFC compounds rise high up into the atmosphere. The ozone layer is temporarily wiped away because of this and the sun's harsh UV rays scorch the marching Kongu king's armies... his mighty men burn to the ground as ashes. After I complete the incantation, I turn back to my people. They are rejoicing, "Hail King Jatavarman!". I hear the Azeem-O-shaan shahenshah song being sung. In the midst I see my fair princess walking toward me. Her face as splendid as the moon. As I smilingly reach out for her, suddenly without warning, she kicks me hard in my shins!! "Why did you do that? my lady", I am shocked. But she does it again, even more hard this time. "Princess! STOP IT" *...

Suddenly, the whole scene transforms and I find myself back in the ucb conference hall. I think my last words had broken the silence in the room and a few educated heads had turned to look in my direction. The prof made a momentary pause before resuming with an unmistakable smile. It wasn't my princess kicking me, it was rather my roomie kicking me awake, "Get up you sleepy lazy bum! We need to leave now, or we'll miss the CMU tamil drama at the Sunnyvale temple".

to be continued...

* - Jatavarman tales date nearly a thousand years ago. Ozone layer depletion is happening right now. Yet to some of us the latter interests us no more than the former.

The Incredible Restroom ;-)

(Some facts mentioned here can be verified by visiting the IHOP restaurant at Santa Clara)

If you like pancakes, chances are you probably love the ihop restaurants. Apart from their array of different pancakes and waffles, every table has this "sugar boat" with different sweet syrup dispensers - strawberry, blueberry, butter pecan and so on, which are fun to experiment with, if not just delicious. Sometime back I had gone for dinner to one such restaurant at Santa Clara. My friend had chosen this place after looking it up on an i-phone (it seems to be a hip thing to do these days for some reason :P ). At first sight I somewhat felt like this place was a little oddly located, but didn’t know what was exactly odd until much later...

Towards the end of our dinner, I decided it was time to answer Nature's call. The thing about nature calls is that there is a limited number of times you can hit the "busy" button before running the risk of either prostrate distress or taking the call in public! Therefore, I excused myself from the table and hurriedly made my way toward the door where the signboard clearly read "RESTROOMS". The moment I entered this door, though, I knew instantly that I had made a mistake - before me was a small carpeted room with four comfortable looking chairs, a little table and a young lady in uniform who seemed to be waiting on something. Before this lady could notice, I hurried back through the door and asked the nearest IHOP waiter where the restroom was. To my surprise he pointed back at the same door! I was confused, but my nature's call was getting louder. So I suspiciously re-entered the neat room. This time the uniformed lady was expecting me, "How may I help you?", she asked in a thick accent. "Er.. I'm just looking for the restrooms?” I stammered. As if expecting this question and barely letting me complete, she quipped, "Please take a seat sir, someone will be here to assist you"!! I was aghast, "Excuse me?! I think I'd rather do this on my own!", I replied back, but the lady wasn't even listening, instead she quickly disappeared behind another door. Honestly, I didn’t know what was going on... I truly appreciate Americans and their professionalism but this had got to be the heights...

Seconds later; another officious looking lad, entered the same door the lady had disappeared through. "What may I help you with today?” he asked in a rather pompous manner. I was a bit restless, but I repeated my question patiently. "Oh", he smiled, "please follow me, sir, I can help you with that"! ... It felt a chill run down my spine. Did I really look like I needed assistance with this thing? Before I could object, the lad was already leading me via another door and a small corridor. Not too far away was a more familiar pair of doors with the men's and women's room symbols. I felt a wave of relief, but before I entered, I curtly, said a "Thank you" and saw to it that this lad walked away before I entered my much sought after restroom!

Relieving minutes later, as I exited the restaurant, my friend pointed out that this ihop joint din't really have restrooms of its own and so they just made people go to the Holiday Inn lobby in the building right next to their place when needed.

Phew.. what an experience!